Red Riding Hood vs Fairy Town

Before I start posting about stuff I’m working on now, I thought I would first share this tale I found going through some old schoolbooks of mine.  It was written by me, age 9, and if I may say so is a rather gripping legal drama/thriller that was very ahead of its time.  I believe we were told in class to just write our own story using favourite fairy tale characters and I, well, wrote this.

There are a few little plot holes, such as why does Esmeralda suddenly come clean at the end? I have no idea, and if I ever did I’ve long forgotten. But what I think this story is really about is how we, as a society, are often so quick to jump in and condemn a person for any perceived indiscretion even when not being in full possession of the context or facts. Bear in mind this was written when I was nine years old, a decade before the internet really took off and long before social media, so it’s somewhat prophetic, I think. Either that, or it’s just the crazy imaginings of a bonkers nine year old. I’ll let you decide.  So, without furthur ado:

Red Riding Hood vs Fairy Town

It was a sunny day in Fairy Town. The people got on with their everyday business. The occasional fairy flew by leaving a rainbow of pretty colours. Nothing new, really. Esmeralda, the evil witch, decided to have fun, or at least what witches consider fun.

Goldilocks was walking through town, having decided to stay out of forests, when she found a red cape. It was not her favourite colour, but she put it on anyway. But then she was even more surprised when a bag of gold appeared in her hands.

Some townspeople saw her and shouted, “Hey! She must have took the gold from the bank!”

Not knowing what else to do, Goldilocks ran into the forest.

“It was that Red Riding Hood!” Someone shouted. “She’ll be off to her grandma’s. Let’s get her!”

The whole town went into the forest with forks and spades and sticks with stars on the end that terrified everyone. There were not many crimes around here.

Red Riding Hood had just found out her grandmother was a wolf when the townspeople broke down the door to her cottage and chopped grandmother in two. But then they dragged Red Riding Hood outside, shouting “Send for Judge Porky!”

Judge Porky came and said, “Right! You’re entitled to a fair trial before I sentence you to fifteen years in prison. Let’s start with the case for the prosecution.”

“Your honour,” a small man bowed, “ladies and gentlemen, and pigs and goblins and trolls and fairies and elves and witch…”

“Just get on with it!” Said Porky.

“She did it.”

“Alright then. Anything else?”

“I call a witness!”

An elderly woman came up to the bench and put her hand on a book.

“Now,” Porky asked her, “do you promise to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth?”

“No,” said the woman.

“Okay, well, did you see who took the gold?”

“It was her!” She said, pointing at Red Riding Hood.

“Right!” The Judge hammered. “Has the jury reached a decision?”

“Guilty!” They said.

“Objection!” Screamed Red Riding Hood.

“What is it?” Asked Porky.

“You promised a fair trial!” She complained.

“But I don’t want to miss lunch…”

“Let me ask the old woman, does she notice anything different about me?”

“Well,” the woman said, “you had blue shoes on when you took the money.”

“Blue shoes?” Red Riding Hood looked around the crowd. “What, like these?” She pulled out Goldilocks and put her red cape on the other girl.

“Exactly like that!”

Then Esmerelda appeared in puff of smoke.

“Stop!” She yelled. “I set all this up! I made the gold appear in Goldilock’s hands so that you would all think she stole it.”

“I’ve missed lunch thanks to you,” moaned the judge, “Sergeant! Kill that witch!”

So the people were easily fooled but no one had really committed any crime, but those who do in Fairy Town certainly get punished.

“‘Ere,” said Daddy Bear, “isn’t that the one who stole our porridge?”


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